It's official. Hanami (blossom viewing) season, an age old tradition, is in full force. In perfect pack animal form the Japanese ascend on parks to “view and contemplate the cherry blossom” which really is just another excuse to drink copious amounts of sake. The main blossom viewing site happens to be Aoyama Cemetery which is just steps from my apartment.

All are search phases that came to this site; number is ranking my site was listed for the search phase in google.

Sex of high heel #259 – this person must be desperate to scroll through 258 sites to find my site

Jet program girls Japan #1 – was there a calendar I missed?

Japan I want like to shoes for picture #2 – Huh?

japanese girl vibrator school #2 - Huh!?!?

product details circuit vibrator sex #1 – who could possibly need the product details of a vibrator?

Want to see Disturbing Search Requests from other sites?
(via StuartWoodward)

As groping on the subway is a serious problem in Japan, this sign is displayed at most the JR stations. The kanji read “perverts strictly prohibited” or something like that.

Perverts, however, are not prohibited from tokyoshoes.

Antique Buddha’s on sale at The Palace of Art shop. Thai Buddha are illegal to export without special permission therefore many are instead from Myanmar and Cambodia.

Today is my last day in Thailand. I'll post again when back in Tokyo.

Everytime I walk out the front of my hotel the taxi drivers lined up outside yell: Taxi where you go! Even when I was on a scooter some guy asked me if I needed a taxi.

Yesterday I came out and again the yells of taxi. Again I answer no, but this time he yells back no taxi then you no sexy. Now every time he sees me he just yells no taxi no sexy and we laugh. Finally last night I did take a taxi and he tells me now you sexy. We haggled on price: 10 baht got laughter, he didn’t remember the way for 50 baht. We agreed on 100 baht (just over $2).

Sunset view from dinner at the Boathouse.

I have eaten Thai food every day since I've been in Phuket. Here's a picture of a seafood salad. Prawns, fish, tomatoes and onions dressed with ample amounts of lime juice, fish sauce, chili, kaffir lime leaf and cilantro.

When I'm back in Tokyo I will post my collection of Thai recipes.

I would have expected the country that invested just-in-time manufacturing and touts efficiency at every turn to be, well, a bit more organized than the chaos I encounter almost daily in Tokyo. Just one example is the horrific commute to and from Narita airport. For the 9:45 am flight to Phuket, I left my apartment at 6:30 am, took a $20 taxi to Tokyo station for the $30 Narita “Express” train, an hour ride to the airport. The train could make it in 20 minutes, but that would result in too much competition for the “Limo” Bus to the airport. At the airport I then encounter 3 massive escalators up to the departure gates, where I took my flight voucher to one counter to pick up the ticket, then went to another counter to check in, then waited in line to pass through passport control (which always seems stricter than the passport control into Japan). After the monorail to the gate, I finally got to board the plane. Whew!

Gift package Hello Kitty buns at Narita Airport:

While Thai ladies give you massage they always chat with eachother. In my head their conversations goes like this:

I've never seen ass that big. We should get paid by the pound for this one.

She probably drinks diet coke with her banana split too.

In just moments I am leaving for Phuket, Thailand and will try to post while I am away. For any contemplating a trip there, Phuket is fantastic place with beautiful beaches, great food, and $7 massages on the beach.

For those of you with an unlimited budget surely you would stay at the Amanpuri.

Known as the “poor man’s” Aman, the Chedi is the next best choice.

For slightly tighter budgets, the Marina Phuket is a lovely option.

All have individual cottages in a jungle setting.

I know I post some risque material on this site, but I never thought the so many googlers would find me by way of some rather smutty search terms. Below are examples of a few recent ones. One must only imaging what the googler was truly searching for.

Girls massage in Tokyo (I am the #2 site listed)

A large clitoris picture (#20)

And, the winner is:

sexy pictures of smoking women school teachers (#15, but not on google)

Hunkabutta has also recently wrote about as he calls it the "masturbator contingent" to his site.

Here's a photo for the pervy searchers. Sexy boots in Tokyo sex shop.

Just a photo for today. I spotted this couple at the flea market in Harajuku. They look like royalty!

Click for larger photo.

The next in a series... Some time ago I went to a snazzy French restaurant in Ginza for a business lunch. At the next table a sharply dressed business man answered his cell phone. I didn’t think much of it as people are constantly talking on their phones in restaurants in Manhattan, but the waiter went right up to him and told him to turn it off immediately. He stood his ground, didn't budge until the customer hung up, turned the phone on "manner mode" and put it away. I was shocked. The guy was spending $100 for a lunch and was scolded to turn off his phone.

Girl in restaurant instant messages on her cell phone. Talking is strictly forbidden as it could disturb other customers.

Friday night, I went out for dinner to La Bisboccia, an Italian restaurant in Hiroo. It is the kind of place that is more Italian than Italy but fortunately stops short of Disneyfication like so many restaurants in Tokyo. That said, our Italian waiter was such a caricature I wondered if he was an actor from some other country playing an Italian. They are known for the white truffle pasta and their steak.

A rustic setting with open kitchen.

Fresh food of the day is wheeled out on a cart to your table.

Another in the series of Japanese conundrums:

Sleeping in public places is perfectly acceptable (or at least common).

In business meetings it would nerve me to no end. In small meetings of 5 people they would sleep, at their desks after lunch they’d lean on back and sleep, on the subway people’s heads would end up on my shoulder.

Counter intuitively (to me) the Japanese would look favorably on the sleepers. It implied they must be working very hard to need to sleep at work.

I saw this guy on the subway, sat next to him, and got up within seconds. His whole body bobbed from side to side. He had drool on his chin and collar of that black leather biker jacket. I caught the eye of a young Japanese guy watching and we both laughed.

Click for larger picture.

Despite the fact that no one actually uses the word “no”, there are many things in Japan that are simply not allowed. Smoking unfortunately is not one of them. Yesterday I had lunch in the Spiral Building, a multipurpose space* in Omotesando, that is actually quite cool. Two tables down some guy had the gall to smoke a mini cigar, the cigarillo. Vile. We complained to the waiter who instead of telling the guy to put it out moved us to a different table.

On the other hand, had the guy attempted to use his cell phone he would have been promptly told to turn the f*cking thing off or in Japan-speak please sir I am so very sorry to disturb you but cell phone use is not allowed, may I kindly ask that you turn it off or go outside.

The kanji for no smoking:

*There are simply gobs of multipurpose spaces in Japan. Usually conceived as make work public works projects designed to pad the wallets of corrupt bureaucrats, they are usually never used. See Alex Kerr’s Dogs and Demons for more.

A frequent topic of conversation among me and my friends is my age, specifically my advancing years, and don't let me wrinkle free face fool you.

Last week I gave a presentation on marketing jobs to a group of 200 bright eyed and bushy tailed exiting Japan Exchange and Teaching (JET) program participants. I kicked off my presentation with this joke.

During the Q&A a number of these kids asked things like, "I am not sure if you can remember THAT FAR BACK, but when you went to business school..." and "I know you have been doing this FOR A REALLY LONG TIME, what do think has changed since you started?"

It may be that I spend too much time behind the computer, but I am convinced I am coming down with arthritis.

In case you are interested in knowing a bit more about marketing jobs, here is my presentation.

After the presentation I walked through the Sunshine complex in Ikebukuro and past a toy store filled with these Kewpie dolls:

I am very happy to share with you that tokyoshoes has just been featured in this month's Japanzine magazine as "Best of Japan on The Web 2003".

They call my site, "funny, smart, and they get around to lots of interesting places in Tokyo. It's everything a blog should be."

Right now I am feeling about like this:

Me, age 5, wearing a blonde wig that I insisted on wearing to school... and my mom let me.

The blog party on Friday was a great success. Thank you to my co-organizer, HunkaMike and all the attendees. A number of people asked for additional events so stay tuned for more.

Paul of in-duce.net, has so kindly posted portraits of most to the attendees. Since I worked the door so long I didn’t get a chance to talk to everyone and I didn’t take one single picture.

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